So sick of my body.

I am so sick of my body.
My fatty body with tiny boobs.
My fatty stomach that gets in the way.
My uglyness.

And I was planning to change it, by dieting and a breast surgery.
Now my boyfriend tells me he doesn't want me to get the surgery. No not for safety, but for him not to get insecure.
Should I live my life, completely miserable about my body so my love wont get a lower selfesteem?
I mean, I AM MISERABLE. I cry all fucking day, cause all I see is uglyness. I disgust myself.
I am going on a diet. And if I can't have surgery (wich I will eventually have) I will take some alternatives.

I want to be pretty.
I want to have control.
I want that perfect body, I want that perfect soul.

Now all I do is cry cause of my uglyness. I'm not happy about anything about myself, body or mind.
Can I please be happy with one thing?

My boyfriend doesnt find me attractive as well, he says he does, but he's not.
All he does is check out other girls, we don't have sex anymore, and he barely touches me or look at me.
How do you think that makes me feel?

I am really unhappy now, almost depressed, and I am sick of it.
I will get there or die, anything is better than this situation.